Losting in the Wilderness

*haix.. There are many things i am supposed to do yet the feeling of unwillingness always sets in. I am thinking i really should go up the mountain and train like my fellow brothers so that i could do well this semester. I can say i am willing to listen right now but after that where do i go from there?

I was glad to hear from a fren who accidentally stumbled on my blog, a simple "Hi" really made my day. Still looking for my direction in life, i made a decision to enter teaching, although weather i will get the job is another thing, as i have already failed the AEO interview, Toshiba and probably many more to come. I really need to grow up yet i can't see a reason to be a otono.

Why am i so determined on this? --- I have no answer.. yet life still goes on.

I met with my prof today when i was walking along the alleyway, he smiled cause probably he forgot that i was his FYP student, luckily he looked younger, with his hair dyed, probably it is due to the fact that i gave him peace for the last 6mths by not disturbing him with anything. Maybe ah tai knew this too, cause i was going to ask very lame questions about my FYP that one should already know. I am after all a very "FU QIAN" person but very very thankful for all the buddies that i have who walked this path together with me, and i know, they will definately help mi.

Suppressed feelings make mi feel incomplete. REVENGE is probably still no.1 on my list. I am waiting for the day when i can survive on my own, but it seems that i never will as i am forever dependend on the people around me. Blessed? Yes i am. Arigatou everybody..

Missed Connections --- awaited feelings>>> I need a hug, and anticipate one, i so want somebody to hold me tight so i can cry for the pain that i have concealed within the smile on my face.. A hug from (************), but definately not family -- probably MC i will accept. Haix*